Et Cetera
International cancer experts have moved tanning beds and other sources of ultraviolet radiation into the top cancer risk category, deeming them as deadly as arsenic and mustard gas.
The Solution.
SPF 150
Nothing will make you feel as safe and protected and confident and prepared. Because SPF 150 does something more powerful than just protect you from the sun a hundred times better than the ridiculously, flimsy, paper-thin skin God gave you. SPF 150 actually repels the fear and anxiety and vulnerability and paralyzing paralysis that affects so many of us each and every time we walk outside during daylight hours. It’s patented, and made in Norway, by Norwegians. So say it out loud: The rest of your life starts now.
And for the chronically sun impaired (the umbrella wielders) …
SPF 200
The truth is, most people are never going to need the level of protection this lotion provides. Recently indicted? Not a problem. Being hunted by a pack of rogue genetically mutated polar bears? Have a sandwich. Take a nap. Seriously, make yourself a sandwich then go take a nap, because there is nothing out there that you have to worry about ever again. The nightmare is over.
